Wednesday, December 2, 2015

"A Cadaver Christmas" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Greg Murdaugh of The Cinema Slayer!

Zits and zombies! Thanksgiving is upon us and so is Christmas- a time of families getting together for dinner, drinks, annoying children opening presents, decorated trees, brightly colored lighting and tinsel. It's also a time for beer, gore, cadavers (zombies if you will) and a bad-ass janitor who wants to save the world if he has to. A Cadaver Christmas isn't anywhere near my favorite Christmas horror flick of all time, nor is it the worst. It is very well produced for an indie however, and I will always respect that. The contrast in character personality and development is somewhat cliche', but who really cares about that in a film like this? Cadavers! Gore! Alcohol! A cute security chick! The overweight bartender Eddie turns into a cadaver and gets impaled through the neck with a school desk! It's all right here for your holiday viewing pleasure! Forget It's a Wonderful LifeMiracle on 42nd Street and A Christmas Story... A cold Christmas cadaver is what you're looking for.

Christmas carolers are annoying.

The bartender looks like Bam Margera's dad.

"Tom's annual suicide attempt isn't for another couple of hours yet."

Kicking some cadaver ass!

Now I kind of want to watch The Janitor.

That's a good question, why aren't they in a real cop car? 

I think this guy is a fan of Nekromantic.

 "I'm too fat for this shit!"

Tom jumping in front of the perp before he's about to shoot Eddie in the head is hilarious.

"I don't talk to goat fuckers."

You go security chick! Slap that perp!

I was unaware of the fact that you could have cadavers shipped somewhere to conduct experiments on them. Can you order them off of Amazon?

Surgeon humor is so dark.

Kill your pc monitor, man.

"I'm a janitor- I never leave a mess uncleaned."

The first time I watched A Cadaver Christmas, it wasn't Christmas time. Hell, watching it now the second time it's technically still not Christmas time. But if it's any sort of positive suggestion, it did warm up some Christmas spirit in me. And I don't usually start getting those feelings until a few days before hand. I didn't even think I still had those feelings. Who knew cadavers, a janitor and a shovel decapitating said cadavers would make me feel all cozy inside. Merry Shitmas. I hope you bought something for your mother. 

- Greg
Cinema Slayer

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