Sunday, December 27, 2015

Announcement of this Year's Shitmas Contest Winners! (The Box of Shitmas, Krampus Giveaway, and the "Naughty or Nice" Sticker!)

Here is the announcements of this year's Winners of the 3 Shitmas Contests that were held this year!

First up is "The Box of Shitmas" Giveaway which was put together by myself and's head honcho Jason Price!

Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Shitmas Hangover (Year 5’s Shitmas Wrap-up on The Acid Pop Cult Podcast!)

Well that’s it folks another year of Shitmas is in the bag! I want to thank everyone who was involved in helping make this 5th Edition of the Blogging Event a Huge Success!
Earlier this week I made a guest appearance on the Acid Pop Cult where I discuss each and every post that was featured this year, so check it out in this LINK or look up Acid Pop Cult on where ever you listen to your podcasts at!

Below are the LINKS to each post that was included in the year’s Shitmas as well as LINKS to each contributor Pages!

Friday, December 25, 2015

Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) by Thomas Coombs Jr.

Hey everybody, it's that time of year again, and today I'll be giving you my contribution to 25 days of Shitmas with a movie starring everybody's favorite 80's teen star Kirk Cameron! Before we get started this is a Christian movie and I am a Christian. Sometimes I am ashamed, I'm not ashamed to be a Christian, I am ashamed of other Christians. Whether if be through bigotry, hypocrisy, citing Bible verses to provide reason for hatred or making shitty, shitty movies. Guess which category this falls into.

So, sit back and relax and enjoy my play-by-play of Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas. (FYI: there's an African American in this movie who's job I'm pretty sure is to just be the "Black Guy", so, I'll be referring to him as such) Also, be warned, this movie was very boring and uneventful, so, this live reading may be pretty boring.


Invasion U.S.A. (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Icon vs. Icon's Steve Johnson!

Invasion U.S.A.

Steve Johnson - Icon vs Icon

After taking a year off from Shitmas, mostly due to devastating stomach viruses, I am back to continue giving you guys what you want. I mean it wouldn’t be Christmas without an epic running commentary involving a massive body count and epic one liners. Having finished with the Christmas adventures of John McClane, Martin Riggs, and Roger Murtaugh, I figured I’d delve a little into the world of Chuck Norris and uzis. Without further ado I present, Invasion U.S.A. It’s time…

Thursday, December 24, 2015



"Neither parent nor child will find merriment in this mess." "Anti-matter" "Empty cheerful sanitized gimmicks" - These are just a few of the many things said about this 1998 Christmas comedy starring the charismatic Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I must admit going into my first viewing about 15 years ago, I was already a bit of a fan of the young actor, not so much of his television stuff but his performance in Wild America, another great family fun movie. Nothing new under the sun here as far as plot and the movie makes clear from the start this is about college kids doing college things. The fact that it turns into this sort of groovy road trip for most of it's running time is very appealing and I can't see road trip movie fans not liking this one, especially with the vast array of characters our protagonist encounters along the way. 

Rocky 5 (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Second Hand Terror's Chris Roberts

Rocky V

I am not macho. Not at all. But if my back is to the wall and I hear Eye of the Tiger or Bill Conti's Gonna Fly Now or even if someone in a crowd yells "Mickey Loves Ya!" I may very well fight my own mother. There is something about those musical cues that can turn me into a wreckin' machine ready to eat lightning and crap thunder. On the other hand, Rocky Balboa's story arc through six films (and to a certain extent Creed) gets me on an emotional level as well. I think I've cried more tears at the end of the Rocky movies than at the birth of my own children. But I'm not here to talk about the entire franchise or all of the times I got my ass kicked for yelling "One more round" in someone's face after one too many drinks. And you surely didn't come here to read about it. I'm here to talk about my love/hate relationship with easily one of the most universally hated sequels in history. No, not Mannequin 2: On the Move. I love that movie.

Not pictured:  Stallone's integrity

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Midnight Confessions Podcast's 2015 Christmas Craptacular!

I wanted to take a moment during this year's Shitmas Event to plug my buddy Freddie Young's Midnight Confessions Podcast (also hosted by Rev. Phantom and Moronic Mark). This week's episode dubbed "The Christmas Craptacular" fits right in with the Spirt of Shit and can be found in the video below!

If you liked what you heard then follow The Midnight Confessions Podcast on Facebook & Twitter!

Also be sure to read some of Freddie's Previous Shitmas entries over the years in the SMF Archives!

- Tom

Deck the Deck with tapes for Christmas! (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Jules Brudek of Sticky-Boxes (and Gorehound Mike's)

“Deck the Deck with tapes for Christmas!”
By Jules Brudek, STICKY-BOXES

Plunging yet another VHS rarity into the depths of my VCR; The only way to truly celebrate Christmas!

Part One:

*Only available on VHS from United American Video

Directed by Charles B. Pierce

From the producer of Where the Red Fern Grows II comes this shot on video, homespun adaptation of Renfroe’s Christmas by southern culture novelist, Robert Burch. Set in the 1930s in rural Louisiana, the youngest son of a farmer, Renfroe Madison, played by Nicholas Todd, doesn’t understand the true meaning of Christmas until he gives away his most prized possession to a downtrodden boy in his community.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Psych ~ “Christmas Joy” (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Acid Pop Cult's Jeremy L. Morrison!

Psych Season 3, Episode 09 "Christmas Joy" (currently streaming on Netflix)

When I think of Christmas, my mind jumps to many things: gifts, ugly sweaters, Chevy Chase, Elizabeth Kaitan’s non nude role in “Silent Night, Deadly Night part 2,” Elizabeth Kaitan’s very nude role in “Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity,” Elizabeth Kaitin’s general whereabouts, why she retired, etc., etc.

So after I fixate on the star of Vice Academy 3-6, I often dive into a month long binge session of any and every Christmas episode of classic television programming that I can get my hands on. One of my favorites is an episode of “Psych” entitled Christmas Joy from Season 3. This episode is all the more special as it is directed by comedy and horror legend, John Landis (An American Werewolf in London, Trading Places, The Stupids) and guest stars Keith David (They Live, The Thing, There’s Something About Mary) and Phylicia Rashad (The Cosby Show, Creed, Ahmad Rashad’s sexy times). Fun fact for all you Psych-Os out there, Keith David actually replaced Ernie Hudson as Gus’ dad in this episode. Two wonderful actors. One fantastic role. Both Christmas episodes. Math.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Stalag 17 (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Horror, Sci-fi, and More's Bucky Schuyler)

This is my third year being a part of Shit Movie Fest's once a year annual event known as "25 Days of Shitmas". My previous turns writing for Thomas, I did the fantasy route. Narnia and Hogfather both good movies and dealt with Christmas but I longed to venture to escape that route again. I wanted to try to a different film that would possibly test my skills and I figured I would go with a war time classic.

Stalag 17 (1953)

Sunday, December 20, 2015

YOU GET THE ROD! : THE RISE OF KRAMPUS (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) by Kristopher Triana of The Tavern of Terror

By Kristopher Triana

There’s no doubt about it. The holiday season of 2015 doesn’t belong to Santa Claus, the elves on shelves, the new Peanuts movie or even Bill Murray’s Christmas Special. No, there’s an old fable, a creature of old-world mythology, which has inexplicably returned from the vault of ancient lore to become the most popular face of Christmas this year.

I’m talking, of course, about Krampus, the Christmas demon.

Now, had you mentioned this holiday goat-man just five years ago, most people wouldn’t know what in blazes you were blathering about. But now, with appearances on TV shows and in movies and all forms of pop culture, the demon of Christmas who punishes naughty children (a virtual Anti-Claus), is more popular than ever in America, and like it or not, the beast isn’t going anywhere. Krampus is back, and all the little brats out there better get ready for their comeuppance.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

A "Christmas Vacation" Activity Book! (A Shitmas Post from Chris Tanski of

If you been following Shitmas over the last few years you have gotten a glimpse of the creative genius that is Chris Tanski! The first year Chris joined us for Shitmas he came up with this amazing "Die Hard" Poem that blew me away (See LINK) and last year he brought us a Pig Burger Placemat inspired by the 80s Cult Favorite "Better Off Dead" (See LINK)

This year Chris is back and is covering another beloved Christmas Movie, that being "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation"! Below you will find his take on what a Activity Book based off the movie might look like! So Print the photos out and share them with Friends!


"John Denver’s Rocky Mountain Christmas" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post)

Snuggled inside an artificial glass bio-dome, deep in the Rocky Mountains, lies a mellow and frighteningly cheerful man with a guitar. A youthful multi-cultural audience cheers every festive song the man sings. The audience has the exuberance of dried oak. The man's placid tones steal their souls, encasing them in the body of his guitar.

The man is John Denver. He appears out of the snow like a sedated, loving Jim Jones. Gaze into the bottomless abyss of Mr. Denver's giant aviator sunglasses. Let the warm comfort of eternity wash over you. This is John Denver’s Rocky Mountain Christmas.

Friday, December 18, 2015

MST3K's "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Gabriel Baron of

The first time I ever saw "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" was back on Friday afternoon December 20th, 1991. My brother Jacques and I were on Christmas break from school (I was a sophomore in High School, he was in 8th grade). Bored that day, we were flipping through channels on the TV waiting for our Mom to get home from work. We landed on MST3K completely by accident. I remember hearing something about a show where the hosts made fun of bad movies and was allegedly supposed to be pretty good.

About 5 minutes in to the episode, we were hooked.

It featured the juvenile delinquent epic "Daddy-O". We both were laughing so hard we probably missed half of the jokes.

We wanted more.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

"Mickey's Christmas Carol" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from JP Wendel of Death Blog The Blog That Eats People

My grandmother loves Christmas. Like, LOVES Christmas. You know the type: decorations --well, certain decorations, she's not quite that bad yet-- up all year round, the ol' Cadillac filled with nothing but cassette tapes of the holiday classics (side note: fuck Bing Crosbey), and Christmas specials on VHS playing at all times. Among these specials were such gems as the Simpsons Christmas special, aka "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire," The Muppets' Christmas Carol (which I absolutely adore and, who knows, maybe I'll write about that next year), and the subject of this Shitmas post, the 1983 Disney short Mickey's Christmas Carol.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

What "Misery" means to me by Psycho Chick Flick's Tiffany Santiago (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post)

Ah it is that time of year, holidays with the family, snowy weather, Christmas music, cheers, laughter, the hint of pine and spices in the air, and holiday films to enjoy! Now I normally enjoy holiday films all year round but nothing feels quite as right like enjoying a wintry flick around the holidays and Misery is no exception. I watch Misery several times throughout the year but I especially love enjoying it close to the holidays in the cold winter months, maybe because the film takes place around a snow storm and in the winter or maybe because Annie Wilkes just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Either way, Misery is one of my favorite films and belongs in the 25 days of Shitmas!

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

"Maniac Cop 2" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Joey Gallimore of

(art via Jason Edmiston)

Sequels -- especially ones of the action or horror ilk -- seem to follow an unofficial yet unanimously agreed upon belief that they need to be bigger and badder than their predecessor in every conceivable aspect. If the first film had a car chase, the sequel should have three. Was there an explosion in the first one? Well now the follow up has no less than ten. The body count should triple, the nudity should double, and hell, why not introduce a completely arbitrary character if only to add to the insanity? Logic usually falls by the wayside in order to accommodate these new cranked-to-11 rules, but we the viewers are usually too awestruck to notice.

Such is the case with Maniac Cop 2, a movie which adheres to these tenets so much so that I am going on record and dubbing it "the ultimate horror sequel". (I've also dubbed it Broken Glass: The Movie, but I'll get to that in a minute.) In fact, it's so full of over-the-top exciting visuals that I considered merely stringing together a thread of gifs from the film in lieu of a written article, but I figured that might be a bit much. I'll do my best to describe the awesome, glorified excess of Maniac Cop 2 using words alone, but I assure you: it is a movie that is best watched, not read about.

Monday, December 14, 2015

"Go" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Jason Price of Icon vs. Icon

"You know what I like best about Christmas? The surprises. I mean, it's like you get this box and you're sure you know what's inside of it. You know. You shake it, you weigh it, you're totally convinced you have it pegged. No doubt in your mind. But then you open it up and it's completely different. You know. Wow, bang, surprise!” Those words. delivered by Katie Holmes in “Go,” are exactly what Director Doug Liman delivers with this criminally overlooked gem from the late ‘90s.

Written by John August (“Titan A.E.,” “Charlie’s Angels,” “Big Fish,” “Corpse Bride”), “Go” was released in the spring of 1999, and served as Linman’s followup to his wildly popular flick “Swingers.” Boasting an impressive ensemble cast with stars Sarah Polley, Katie Holmes, William Fichtner, Scott Wolf, Jay Mohr, Taye Diggs, Breckin Meyer, Timothy Olyphant, Desmond Askew , and J. E. Freeman, I have always been surprised the movie didn’t become more of a mainstream hit. It even features the silver screen debut of an adorable, cherub-cheeked Melissa McCarthy, long before she was out destroying childhoods with her role in the “Ghostbusters” reboot. Before you fire up the mock outrage and organize the rest of your torch wielding villagers to burn me to the ground, know I am only throwing that in to rile you up.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Christmas Kiddie Matinees (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Missy Mazzaferro of Enchanted Kiddieland!

In prosperous post-war America, the once-humble European Christmas holiday became a commercially profitable empire. Social norms valued Christianity within a nuclear family structure, meaning that more Americans were now celebrating Christmas while living more comfortable lives in larger homes. With the accessibility of the automobile, families that once occupied small apartments in the city began spreading out to larger suburban homes to settle down with a few kids and a rumpus room! Dad might now commute further for better opportunity and the resulting financial boom (along with husbands returning home from the war) led to the American baby boom. Children’s entertainment grew to meet the needs of this new generation of bored kids stuck home all day with mom. 

The television became the focal point of the room, with the Christmas tree setup nearby all December. Regional TV hosts became a kid's best friend and created daily or weekly original content for young viewers. Many of these regional shows and films were sadly lost to time.

It was around this same time that some of the most beloved and timeless family specials began their annual runs on television; Rankin Bass produced Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in 1964, Charlie Brown’s Christmas Special first aired in 1965, and we met Dr. Seuss’s most famous villain-turned-good-guy in 1966. By 1970 Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town and Frosty the Snowman were already poised to become new holiday favorites.

However, before we had the classics, we had the little guys; those schlocky producers trying to capture a little bit of that Christmas magic on film (and hopefully earn a quick buck in the process!). Regional filmmakers turned to wholesome subject material to capitalize on the “Kiddie Matinee” trend of the 1950's and 60's. On weekend mornings it was not uncommon to drop unsupervised children off at the theater for a few hours to watch a series of cartoons, fairy tale pictures, and Santa Claus movies. This style of quick & dirty entertainment rarely stood the test of time, typically eliciting laughs from most modern audiences. Cheap puppets, amateur acting, and homemade sets were easily overlooked by kids as long as they were presented by a clown, cowboy, or princess. Many of the surviving films are all but forgotten by even the most discerning cult film fans, but their undeniable charm keeps them in my heart (and on my TV) year after year!

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Spotlight on Series 2 of FUNKO's "Horror Classics" Vinyl Figures!

In the past here on the blog  I did a little spotlight on Wave One of the Funko Company's "Mystery Minis" Horror and Sci-Fi Figures. Well thanks to some luck and a couple good deals on ebay I have completed the Second Series of the Horror Classics and wanted to share with you today how truly awesome these little guys are!

"O' Christmas Pete" - A Very Merry Xmas From Nick Meece of!

Everyone, well, hopefully everyone, knows about the Halloween special from THE ADVENTURES OF PETE & PETE titled "Halloweenie," but did you know they also had a pretty damn cool Christmas episode the following season?

On December 14, 1995, the episode "O' Christmas Pete" aired -- and boy-oh-boy, was it a good one!

"O' Christmas Pete" revolves around Little Pete wanting to keep the Christmas spirit alive, even after December 25.  But there's a snag in the plan.  The evil garbage man is hell-bent on ending Christmas the second it's over.  And this is where the episode gets interesting -- especially looking back on it now.

Friday, December 11, 2015

"Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Ryne Barber of

In the ‘70s, Shelley Winters was busy playing all kinds of deranged older women. What’s the Matter with Helen? is probably the most well-known, but she also starred in another question-marked movie directed by Curtis Harrington set around the Christmas season: Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? The film hasn’t really become a staple of the Christmas horror genre like Black Christmas or Silent Night, Deadly Night, and that’s in part because Auntie Roo is a much slower film, but it’s also only marginally a Christmas film. Still, it has enough to warrant Shitmas coverage, and I’m excited to do so.

Winters stars as the titular Auntie Roo, a rich spinster living alone after the death of her daughter Katharine. During the Christmas season, she accepts orphans into her home for a large Christmas party, providing presents to the children and feeding them a nice Christmas turkey. On her off days, she tries to contact the spirit of Katharine using a medium. And unfortunately for little orphans Christopher (Mark Lester) and Katy (Chloe Franks), Auntie Roo hasn’t been able to move on from her grief of losing Katharine after she fell off a stair banister to her death - she keeps the body in a coffin, pulling it out and rocking it to sleep at night.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

"Rocky 4" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Hank Price

“The threat of a world war is no more.” - Mikhail Gorbachev, December, 1991

“If I can change, and youse can change, EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!” Rocky Balboa, December 25, 1985

History tells us the Cold War ended in the early 1990s But anyone who grew up in the 1980s knows Rocky Balboa ended the Cold War with his fists on a cold Christmas Day in 1985 when he chopped down the Siberian Bull, Ivan Drago, in Rocky IV. In Rocky III, Balboa overcame his fear and self-doubt as well as the loss of his trainer/father figure, Mickey, to regain the World Heavyweight Championship from Clubber Lang with the help of his former nemesis/new best friend Apollo Creed. In Rocky IV, Rocky must return the favor when Creed asks him to stand in his corner “one last time.” Creed must fight for America’s honor (and against Father Time) when Drago, an amateur Soviet wrecking machine, comes to America looking to dominate the professional ranks. Though Rocky knows Creed is more interested in proving to himself that he’s not over the hill, Rocky reluctantly agrees to train him…. YADA, YADA, YADA. We’ve all seen the movie. We all know what happens. Apollo dies. Rocky does a bunch of music videos and chops some trees. Paulie gets a sweet robot, reads comics that improve fertility, and misses the Rose Bowl. Rocky beats Drago and brings Moscow to its feet! Suddenly Moscow is pro-Rocky and pro-Capitalism! Merry Christmas, kid!

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

"Eyes Wide Shut" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post from Dolores Price)

(Poster art via Kyle Lambert)

Eyes Wide Shut” isn’t your typical Christmas movie. Holiday lights only add to the grainy, back-lit shooting style while childhood Christmas wishes contrast the erotic daydream structure of the film. No one is learning the true reason for the season in this film.

The erotic tone of the film (I watched the NR version) is set early with Alice (Nicole Kidman) nude in the opening scene. An equally prevalent disjointed tone soon appears as she and her husband, Dr. Bill Harford (Tom Cruise), say goodnight to their young daughter, Helena (Madison Eginton), before attending a rich Manhattan society Christmas party. In the scene Helena asks if she can stay up late to watch “The Nutcracker” on television while surrounded by a lit Christmas tree, holiday cheer and a normal looking babysitter. This tonal tug-of-war is prevalent throughout the film with contrasts between erotica and tradition as well as nightmares and reality.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Enter to win this “Naughty or Nice” Sticker (from + The First Season of “Tales from the Crypt” on DVD!

Welcome to the latest Shitmas Giveaway here at! There are two prizes up for grabs in this giveaway, first is a 8x4.2 Sticker created by artist Chuck Moran (of that is based off the classic Tale from the Crypt episode "And All Through the House”! Also the winner of this contest will receive the complete First Season of the Cult TV Series on DVD which features the Killer Santa episode staring Larry Drake!

A Double Helping of 80s Horror TV X-Mas Episodes (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post from Manny Serrano of

Here we are again, with another year of Shitmas! Another year, we’re forced to listen to the endless barrage of holiday music, festive greetings, and watch people fight over a fuckin’ red coffee cup. And the worst part is, this damned holiday seems to last longer and longer every year! Most stores are putting up their Christmas sections in mid-October now. Can’t we enjoy Halloween without being force-fed the consumer driven abomination masquerading as a religious holiday?

It’s the only time of the year half the general populace doesn’t look at us horror fans like we’re a bunch of Satan-worshipping, red-headed, degenerate step children (even though many of us are, it’s still not nice to stereotype!), and you want to pre-empt it with your fake holiday cheer! Well I won’t stand idly by and let our bread-and-butter get trampled on by soccer moms and the uptight majority!

In years past, I’ve written reviews for Rosemary’s’ Baby, P2, Silent Night Deadly Night 3, and The Ref. All movies which work to illustrate the ruining of the holiday spirit.

...Okay, so Rosemary’s Baby doesn’t exactly ruin Christmas cheer, but the 2014 remake certainly did nothing to cheer me up!

So anyway… this year I've decided to do a double feature review that reminds me of a time when horror was welcomed. I’m taking you back to a time when horror was accepted. I’m taking you back to a time when horror was everything and everywhere, by featuring two of my favorite TV shows, in a hat trick of horror! A triple play of terror! A hankering of hellfire! A bevy of blood! A trio of trepidation! A mass of madness! A cacophony of… alright, you get the point…

Monday, December 7, 2015

"Gremlins" - The Drinking Game! (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Stacy Still of StayStillReviews!

Gremlins - The drinking game.

Everyone loves the 1984 Christmas creature classic Gremlins. It's not a typical holiday film, but still is a staple for most of us every December. I personally watch it more times than I can count year round, but just something about viewing this Joe Dante gem with a couple of drinks makes the complete experience just so much better. For this year's Shitmas, I decided to state the rules of my very own personal Gremlins drinking game and guess what? There aren't just 3! So get 4lokos and beers ready. Let's do this!

Sunday, December 6, 2015

"Santa Claws" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Johnny Skrabala of

The Hooded Claw 2 AKA Santa Claws AKA “I forgot my light meter!”

The 1996 Debbie Rochon-starring semi-meta yuletide slasher Santa Claws (not to be confused with the 2014 kitten-centric holiday opus of the same name) seems pretty simple at first glance. Considering that approximately 15 minutes of the film’s scant 75-minute run time are used for Christmas-themed stripping scenes that would make Elizabeth Berkley wince (more on those later), there’s actually a lot going on here when you pick the movie apart.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Ranking the guest stars on "Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Joanna Skrabala of!

Ranking the guest stars on Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special

Yes, I know Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special has been awesomely covered before (in 2013 and 2014) for Shitmas. Respect. So, I’m going to try something a little different this year by taking a stab at ranking the special’s list of charming, albeit antiquated, guest stars.

Before I dive in, you must know that I’ve watched this endearing special at least once every year since it originally aired in 1988. For the first 20 years or so, it was viewed on my family’s copied-from-TV-to-VHS copy, all-inclusive with 80s holiday commercials. In my 20s, I got the DVD, and now I have the Blu-ray. Though, I still have a VHS-to-DVD copy kicking around—one I simply watch for the commercial breaks.

My fandom is strong and my knowledge is great—so, let’s get back to that ranking…

Friday, December 4, 2015

"The Christmas Toy" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Kristy Locklin of

The Christmas Toy
By Kristy Locklin,

I was probably watching NBC’s The Facts of Life when The Christmas Toy debuted on ABC in December 1986. Maybe if I’d seen Jim Henson’s holiday special the night it first aired, I’d consider it a wholesome slice of nostalgia. Unfortunately, my inaugural viewing occurred this year and I’m convinced it’s just a horror movie with Muppets.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

"Dark Angel" aka "I Come In Peace" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Dustin Fallon of "Horror and Sons"!

Dark Angel… of Bethlehem

Tis the season. Tis the season for children playing in the snow. The time of year for building snowmen, having snowball fights with your cousins, or making snow angels in the front yard. Stockings are hung by the fireplace as chestnuts roast on the open flame below. Carolers walk from house to house, singing the traditional songs that we all know. However, I live in Florida. I know fuck all about any of this bullshit.

So, when the season rolls around, it's hard for me to get excited about the umpteen televised showings of Christmas Vacation, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, or A Christmas Story. Especially A Christmas Story. I hate that movie. I hate the people who like it even more.

Having never personally experienced a winter anything like the ones presented in those perennial portraits of the holiday, I simply just can't relate. While I do love the seasonal horror staples such as Gremlins & Silent Night, Deadly Night, there just aren't too many other films synonymous with the season that I generally give a great deal of thought to.

It is probably because of this seasonal deprivation that when presented with the opportunity to write a piece on Yuletide viewing, my mind instantly went to the 1990 sci-fi actioner, I Come In Peace. For those unfamiliar with the film (shame on you), Houston cop Dolph Lundgren teams with FBI agent Brian Benben to track down an alien drug dealer who lands on Earth and steals a stash of heroin, which he uses to inject into his human victims. While his prey are dancin' with Mr. Brownstone, he then punctures their brains with a large siphoning needle and extracts their doped up endorphin, which will be synthesized into a drug back on his home planet. Festive stuff, right?

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

"A Cadaver Christmas" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Greg Murdaugh of The Cinema Slayer!

Zits and zombies! Thanksgiving is upon us and so is Christmas- a time of families getting together for dinner, drinks, annoying children opening presents, decorated trees, brightly colored lighting and tinsel. It's also a time for beer, gore, cadavers (zombies if you will) and a bad-ass janitor who wants to save the world if he has to. A Cadaver Christmas isn't anywhere near my favorite Christmas horror flick of all time, nor is it the worst. It is very well produced for an indie however, and I will always respect that. The contrast in character personality and development is somewhat cliche', but who really cares about that in a film like this? Cadavers! Gore! Alcohol! A cute security chick! The overweight bartender Eddie turns into a cadaver and gets impaled through the neck with a school desk! It's all right here for your holiday viewing pleasure! Forget It's a Wonderful LifeMiracle on 42nd Street and A Christmas Story... A cold Christmas cadaver is what you're looking for.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

"A Very Krampus Shitmas Giveaway"! (Michael Dougherty's Krampus Comicbook, a Christmas Ornament and the DVD of “Krampus: The Christmas Devil”!)

Since Krampus is just about every where you look this Holiday Season, I think that it’s only fair that he also makes his presence felt here for Shitmas!

To the Winner of this SMF Shitmas Giveaway I’ll be sending an “Archie McPhee” Christmas Ornament, the new trade paperback "Krampus: Shadow of Saint Nicholas", as well as a DVD of the 2013 movie “Krampus: The Christmas Devil” as seen above!

To Enter Please Post in the Comments Section Below “What Child Age Movie Character(s) you think were most deserving of a visit from Krampus on Christmas Eve”!

The Deadline to Enter this Contest is Midnight 12/26 so get your answer in by then and don’t forget the to check out the SMF Twitter Page ( for a Bonus Shot at Winning!
This Tweet is Dated 12/1 (6:00 PM)

All entries will be given a Number and a Winner will be picked out using the Quick Random Number Generator App on my phone, so best of Luck and Remember Krampus is Watching!

- Tom (SMF on Facebook) (SMF on Twitter) (SMF on Instagram)

"Koopa Klaus" (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post) from Chad E. Young of The Horror Movie BBQ!

Whenever I pick a subject for ShitMas, I try to keep it simple. Something that most likely everyone has seen and remembers. Failing that, something no one wants to see or ever remember(see: "A Christmas Story 2"). So this year's subject may fall into both column A and Column B only because when you discuss the magic known as the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, I'm not sure what the general consensus will be outside of "oh man! I used to watch that before school all the time!". While that is a fun reason to revisit these things, most of them just simply don't hold up or are just downright terrible. And today it's my sad duty to prove to you that not even the panache of Captain Lou Albano can save Christmas from Koopa and the kid from Family Ties.

The 2015 “Box of Shitmas” Giveaway! (Presented by SMF and

(art via Jason Price/ IconVsIcon)

“The Box of Shitmas” has become somewhat of a tradition here for the page the last couple years, I do my best along with help of Jason from (Icon vs. Icon) to fill a box with as much cool Shit as possible and send off to one lucky Winner at the end of the Holidays!

See a video from last year’s Winner JP Wendel sharing The Box of Shitmas’ Contents!

To make things interesting the who’s and what’s that will be included in this year’s box will remain a mystery until after I ship it off at the end of the month, but I can guarantee some Gift Cards, Funko Items, Movies, CDs and some more Surprises!

So to Enter for a chance to win this year’s “Box of Shitmas" just post here in the Comments Section telling us a what is the one Christmas Movie or TV Special you must absolutely fit in this time of the Year . . .

That's All There Is To It!

The Deadline for this Give-A-Way is Midnight December 25th!
So have your entry in by then and please also include your Email Address in your Comment or a way I can reach you if you Won!
 All entries will be given a Number and a Winner will be picked out using the Quick Random Number Generator App on my phone, so best of luck and thanks playing!

*Bonus Chances To Win *
Re-tweet this tweet that's dated (11/30 at 9:05 PM) over at my Twitter Page ( )

- Tom
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Sunday, November 1, 2015

Looking for Contributors/Guest Writters for Shitmas 2015!

(Banner via Christine Larsen)

There are few things that bum me out more then the days right after Halloween, we wait all year for for our favorite day to arrived and then it's over before you know it . . .
 But in the last couple years the end of Halloween has made way for the coming of "Shitmas" here at! Yeah I know that Halloween's body isn't even cold yet, but in order to get everything together in time for December, I gotta ask now who's in for a fifth helping of Shitmas?!?

So by now you may be wondering what actually this "Shitmas" thing is all about, well the best way I can describe it is once a year some of the best writers in the Horror Blogging Community and Friends of the SMF Page come together to do all kind of write-ups for the Holiday Season! There are Reviews or Lists about Holiday Movies, features on Old-school Toys, a few Giveaways/Contests, etc.
Read All the "Ghost of Shitmas Past" Right Here (2011, 2012, 2013, and 2014)

So if you are interested in participating this year pleaseshoot me a message at either the Shit Movie Fest Facebook Page or via Email at
The aim is to have at least one new post up each day from the first of December until the 25th so I'd like to have a majority of the entries received by Saturday November 28th (if possible, late is fine too!)
If we have more then 25 Submissions we will post 2 or 3 a on Certain Days During the month!

Saturday, October 31, 2015

How I Spent My Halloween Season in 31 Pictures!!! (2015)

I did something similar to this last year on the blog where I posted 31 Pictures of how I spent my Halloween Season (see Post) and thought why not do a sequel showing what I was up to this year!

"He Who Walks Behind The Rows . . ." 
We start things off with this picture of me in front of a cornfield while wearing Fright-Rags's "The Children of the Corn" shirt! This pic was taken not far from my Pop's Cabin up the Mountains a great  place to kick off the Fall Season!

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Enter to Win a "Pet Sematary" Poster from artist Charles Moran of!

In the Spirit of Halloween artist Charles Moran (of has donated his awesome Glow in the Dark “Pet Sematary” piece to The SMF Blog for another Big Halloween Poster Giveaway!

If you want to add the Creed Family to your wall then just follow these two simple rules! 
First I ask for you to Please follow Charles (also know in some circles as Zomic) on his official Facebook Page right HERE
After doing that please come back to this Contest Page and in the comment section please share what you favorite/scariest scene in “Pet Sematary” was!

The Deadline of  this giveaway is Midnight November 1st!
All entries will be given a Number and a Winner will be picked out using the Quick Random Number Generator App on my phone, so best of Luck and Remember Sometimes Dead is Better!

* For a Bonus Chance to Win retweet this tweet over at the SMF Twitter Page:

- Tom

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Remembering “If It Were Stine”!

With the “Goosebumps” movie hitting theaters in a couple weeks, I thought it was a good time to revisit in my opinion one of the coolest projects that hit the Horror Community in the past few years!
It was called “If It Were Stine” and the idea was to take pre-existing Classic Horror Movies and reimagined them as books that would have been written by R.L. Stine!

The Artist was Theodore Holmstead-Scott and together with Jude Deluca (whom would do the all the blurbs) would create mock covers in the classic “Goosebumps” style fans around the world fondly remember from their youth! What I loved most about these “Books” were the  names they gave each movies, for example instead of just calling it “A Nightmare on Elm Street” they opt for the very Stine-like title “The Man of My Dreams” . . .

Below you will some of my favorites “If It Were Stine” covers that were created by these very talented artists . . .

SMF's ShartOuts: The October Country

(Banner art via Jason Price of

Here’s a Fresh Edition of “SMF Shartouts” to ring in the Greatest Month of the Year . . . October! I been waiting patiently for this month to finally get here since I got so many fun thing lined up all Month long! In fact this very weekend I am heading down to Maryland hang out with my friends (Katherine, Jeff, and Jason) and attend Monster Mania 32!

As you can see from the picture above the line up for this show is stacked! I plan on meeting Matthew Lillard, Nick Castle, and Tom Atkins once again! Be sure to follow my (Instagram Page) to see all the pictures I take at the Convention!

Enter to Win a Custom “Halloween 4 & 5” Poster from artist Chris Garofalo (of Quiltface Studios)

On Friday October 9th the Legendary Colonial Theatre in  Phoenixville, PA is hosting a Special 35mm Double Feature of Halloween 4 & 5! (Show Info)

The spectacular poster you see above is from my good friend Chris Garofalo (of Quiltface Studios) and will be available for purchase in the Theater’s lobby on the night of the Event! Since I know not everyone reading this will be able to make it out to the Theater on the 9th so I put this contest together for some lucky winner to still bring  “The Shape” to their home or office! To Enter Just Answer the Question below in the Comments Section and follow the Simple Contest Rules As Well:

First I ask for you to please LIKE the Quiltface Studios FaceBook Page which can be found right (HERE)
After doing that please come back to this Contest Page and in the comment section please share what you favorite scenes are for both of these movies!

My favorite scene in Halloween 4 is Michael’s confrontation with “Bucky”!
In Halloween 5 my favorite part in Myers floating down the river at the beginning of the movie!

The Deadline of  this giveaway is Midnight October 31st!
All entries will be given a Number and a Winner will be picked out using the Quick Random Number Generator App on my phone, so best of Luck and Enjoy The Halloween Season!

* For a Bonus Chance to Enter simply Re-tweet this tweet over at  that's dated 9/30 (9:09 PM) *

- Tom
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(Me with George P. Wilbur - Halloween 4's The Shape)