Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Boondocks' "A Huey Freeman Christmas" (A Shitmas Post from Lee Arnold)

The Boondocks S01:E07 A Huey Freeman Christmas
Christmas frustrates me.  Of all the holidays on the calendar, Christmas is the one most filled with fakery, lies, and cultural bias. When it comes down to it, Christmas is more fake than Hallmark’s favorite holiday, Valentine’s Day. 

Christmas is allegedly a celebration of Jesus’s birth, yet it’s culturally dominated by commercialism and the image of a fat guy in a red suit whose image was created by Coca-Cola for its advertising campaigns
So when The Boondocks delivered episode 7 of its first season called A Huey Freeman Christmas, and wound its plot around holiday anger and frustration, I was overjoyed. The episode was a like sugary butterfly kiss on my bitter soul.
The episode features dual plots surrounding the Freeman brothers, Riley and Huey. Riley is out to make Santa pay what he owes because he never delivered the gifts he asked for when he lived in the hood, and Huey is asked to write and direct the school Christmas play despite making it quite clear he doesn’t give a damn about the holiday. 

“I’m comin’ for dat ass Santa! I’m comin’ for dat ass!”

Riley, the Santa Stalker, torments Santa throughout the episode. Among his antics is an incident where hits a shopping mall Santa with a folding chair and then proceeds to beat him with a golf club in front of a throng of crying children. 

 “Nobody’s got Santa’s back? Ain’t this a bitch.”

After the beating, Santa sits up angrily and says, “What the fuck? You all going to stand there and watch me get my ass kicked?”
Riley also writes him this charming letter:

Meanwhile, Huey is collaborating with Quincy Jones and stirring up public outrage as he tries to bring his Christmas play vision to life in a production he wrote called The Adventures of Black Jesus. 

“Christmas is a pagan holiday and Jesus probably hates you for celebrating it.” 

Protests erupt over Huey’s production before it debuts, not only because he intends to portray Jesus as being black, but because he fired all of the kids from the play and replaced them with adult actors. The kids simply didn’t understand Huey’s vision. 

This episode of The Boondocks attacks Christmas on every front. 
Riley despises Santa and declares war against him, and Huey rips apart the history of the holiday and the integrity of those who love it. 
Eggnog anyone? How about some hot cocoa with a candy cane to stir in the marshmallows?
Seems like an accurate portrayal to me.
During the Christmas season we get cards from people we barely know, many of whom likely wouldn’t say hello to us if they saw us standing behind them in the line to greet Santa at the mall. We even feel obligated to buy gifts for people we really don’t like, and even spend in-person time with them to deliver the booty. 

Then there are the guards armed with the bells of Hell who demand payment to get into the door of almost every retail joint in town. These special forces agents of the Salvation Army are inconspicuous assassins skilled in auditory assault and psychological warfare. They smile, stare, and ring-a-ding-a-ding subliminal messages to guilt us into handing over our cash to pay the salary of the organization’s leadership and fund their own chain of retail stores around the nation. 
All the while our favorite places to shop are overrun by assholes who seemingly conspire to empty the shelves of the very things we’re trying to find. 
Christmas is grand. Isn’t it?
This is why I have little patience for the warm-hearted Christmas specials of yesteryear. The only thing that warms my heart at Christmas these days is the booze I have to drink to get through it all. 

There’s little warmth in this Christmas episode. It’s stone-cold hard-assery at its hilarious best. 
So to the writers and creators of the show, I say, “God Bless them, every one.”

The Boondocks is scheduled to come back for a fourth season on Adult Swim in 2014. Be there. 
Merry Shitmas Everybody!
- Lee Arnold 

* Lee Arnold is the co-host of the Acid Pop Cult Podcast. You can find him on Twitter @LeeArnoldMWF. You can find Acid Pop Cult at any of the following fine Internet addresses:


  1. Mmmm, look at all those delicious Glens...

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