*P.S. Lemmy will never die because he is The Lord. AAAAHMEN.
Monday, December 31, 2012
*P.S. Lemmy will never die because he is The Lord. AAAAHMEN.
Y2k. No one born after 1991 will have any concept of what the new millennium meant. It was the threshold of science fiction, when the 20th Century’s struggle against humanity’s social injustices would be overshadowed by new technological marvels. We’d be entering another steam age, though on the nanoscopic scale. Promised to us were interstellar travel, instant teleportation, fully-articulated artificial limbs, and pocket-sized Pizza Hut pizzas that could be enlarged in seconds. But before we could reach another Edwardian era, we’d have to wait and see if the world would end on the stroke of midnight, January 1st, 2000.
Well with later today's post of "Strange Days", Shitmas 2012 will officially come to an end!
I wanna take this chance to say thanks to everyone who participated in this year's Shitmas,
your support was overwhelming and much appreciated! Without everyone's help there is no Shitmas!
Also major props to Christine Larsen for making the amazing banner you see above and Chris Gormley for helping me get everything up in time!
Below are links for all the posts from the 2012 Edition of Shitmas and also the Shitmas Hangover Posts that followed right after . . .
Well with 2012 all but over, here's my list of 13 Movies that I found to be the most entertaining this year had to offer . . .
13. Alpha Girls (Facebook Page)
How good is this indie horror film from Philadelphia Filmmakers Tony Trov and Johnny Zito? Well it's the only movie on this list that I paid to see twice!
It's the story of a sorority that's been harboring a dark past of satanism and the occult dating back to the 1800s.
Standout Performances from "The Alpha Girls" themselves (Falon Joslyn, Beverly Rivera, Nicole Cinaglia, Kara Zhang, & Nikki Bell), gory practical effects and a killer soundtrack from Mike Vivas of Southwork makes this one movie you won't want to miss when it get's a wider release in 2013!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Released towards the end of 1980, "New Years Evil" gets my pick for being the most underrated of the holiday slashers films . . .
I never had the pleasure of seeing it until about five years ago when "Fearnet" started running it as one of their free on demand titles, and since it was long out of print I made sure to watch it a few times during that time frame. A few years ago I was able to score a copy of it from http://www.vhsps.com/ and made sure to fit it into my Holiday Movie Watching schedule ever since.
VHSPS's copy comes from a straight rip of of the original Paragon Home Video release, so it's filed with all kinds of awesome trailers including "Boarding House" and "Just Before Dawn"!
The movie starts off with an ok kill, but it's the opening credits that follow that really sets the tone of "New Years Evil". We followed a crowded car full of punk rockers on their way to a New Years Eve Party, we get to see The Sunset Strip in it's early 80s heyday and also get the first of many awesome songs this movie features.
The party the punks are attending is a New Wave New Years Bash hosted by tv host Diane "Blaze" Sullivan (Roz Kelly aka Pinky Tuscadero). Blaze begins receiving prank phone calls from a caller referring to himself as "Eee-vil" and he promises that he will kill one person at the stroke of midnight for each time zone in the United States!
Saturday, December 29, 2012
The 1987 British Horror Flick "Bloody New Year" is an interesting movie to say the least . . .
I must have stared at this box a million times when I was a kid at the video store but never rented for one reason or another. I got a copy of it last year at a Horror Con, and up until last night when I finally gotten around to watching it I was still under the impression that this was another 80s slasher film based off the title and box art, but after getting used to that not being the case I was treated to a very cool supernatural horror flick!
So where do I begin on this mini Shitmas Hangover Review? Well first off I was surprised to find out that only the first scene has anything to really do with "New Years Eve" and the movie actually takes place during the Summer! The opening credits follow a scene from a New Years Eve party circa 1959, the party is happening at a ritzy island hotel known as the "Grand Island Hotel"! Before the clock strikes midnight and rings in the 60s something horrible happens to all the party goers and we are then taken to present day 1987!
Maltauro Entertainment's new indie slasher "Bloody Bloody Bible Camp" give you a taste of what it would be like if you were forced to attend a "Jesus Camp" on "Friday the 13th" during a "Wet Hot American Summer" . . .
This movie is the perfect send-up of the gory low budget campground slashers that followed in the wake of Friday the 13th's success and also the classic sex comedies that "Porky's" went on to inspire!
I was instantly drawn to B.B.B.C.'s DVD cover when I was at F.Y.E. cause the Killer's Red Mask reminded me of one of my favorite Wrestlers "Kane". Only this person is wearing a Nun Outfit and holding an Ax . . . not to say Kane doesn't also do that in his free time!
Also as seen on the cover, the movie features some pretty recognizable names including Reggie Banniste of the "Phantasm" series, Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs), and Porn Legend Ron Jeremy (who also recently showed up in this year's Indie Hit "Alpha Girls"
If ever there was a movie that lives up to it's title it's 1982's "Get Crazy"!
This criminally obscure movie was released in the summer of 82 and is about a fictional music venue named The Saturn Theater (loosely based on the famed "Fillmore East" of 1970s)
Chris and I screened this at last October's Rock Themed SMF Party "Rocktober" and it was the highlight of the evening.
Friday, December 28, 2012
You know that age-old question "Where would you go if you could time travel?"
Well if I had TARDIS there's a good chance I'd head to New York circa 1978 - 1981!
I could catch some of my favorite musical acts such as The Ramones, The Talking Heads and Blondie perform at CBGB . . .I could wander around 42nd Street and take in a movie at a real grindhouse theater . . .I could go check out the art scene the Lower East Side had to offer . . .The possibilities are endless!
Since I was born in 1982 I can't say how authentic the movie "200 Cigarettes" is at capturing the New York scene in the early 80s, but I can say it nails the pressure we put on ourselves to have the perfect New Years Eve!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
The 1980 Slasher "Terror Train" was made smack dab in the middle of Jamie Lee Curtis's rise as Horror's most beloved Scream Queen!
She was fresh off of making the now iconic films "Halloween", "Prom Night", and "The Fog" . . . but it was right before she appeared in "Road Games" and Halloween II".
Some argue that "Terror Train" may be the worst or cheapest of that bunch, but I wholeheartly disagree! In fact it's always been one of my favorite non-franchise slasher films and also features a villain you actually feel nothing but sympathy towards.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
What do you get when Shane Black (LETHAL WEAPON) and Renny Harlin (DIE HARD 2) collaborate on a Christmas action flick? Well, THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT, of course. This is basically the dream team of seasonal action entertainment with both the writer and director of this picture being responsible for two of the major heavy hitters in the holiday themed bullet riddled actioner cannon. That it's actually gleefully excessive fun only adds to the party.
“Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
Hogfather is a mini-series first aired by the Sky One in the UK in 2006, concerning the residents of Discworld and their yearly tradition of “Hogswatch” where all the children wait for the Hogfather to slide down their chimney and deliver presents. Based on Terry Pratchett’s 20th novel set in his parrallel universe of Discworld, the Hogfather is obviously the Discworld residents’ version of Santa Claus, and he is a constant presence in many of the other books in the series.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Before I start I feel like I should note that I haven't been able to get my hands on the following yet . . . "The Alfred Hitchcock: The Masterpiece Collection", "Universal Classic Monsters: The Essential Collection", or The Criterion Collection release of "Rosemary's Baby". But thankfully I got a lot of gift cards for Christmas so I hope to rectify this problem some time this week! As of now here are the best five Blu-ray release I bought this year . . .
5: Red Scorpion (Blu-ray via Synapse Films)
The Synapse release for this Cult Classic is everything a Dolph Lundgren fan can ask for!
Special features include commentary with Director Joseph Zito, an interview with Tom Savini, and rare original on-set behind-the-scenes video footage.
This movie never got much love back in the day, so it was shocking to see a company give it such a grand release, but then again that's something you can always count on Synapse doing!
Here is part two of the "20 Years of Tarantino with 20 Days of Tarantino" going on over at London 1888! This was an awesome project Chris, glad to see you pull in off!
11. Marsellus Wallace (Pulp Fiction)
Okay so, I'm going to do this a little bit differently than usual, seeing as I have waited too long to write this. I'm going to write about the actual VHS of Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out!, rather than simply the movie itself. VHS was an experience, and if you don't remember it, you're missing out. So here we go!
Monday, December 24, 2012
A Christmas Cadaver came onto my radar this year the same way a couple of other fantastic independently made horror films did (namely Dear God No! and A Little Bit Zombie), by means of artwork done for it by, and featured on the blog of, the always awesome Tom Hodge AKA The Dude Designs. One look at this montage of the blood-soaked Janitor and his motley crew being pitted against a horde of the walking dead, all framed in a festive Holiday motif and I knew that I was sold. I mean, I love Christmas themed horror movies like the next guy, but can only watch the likes of Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night or Christmas Evil so many times. Wait, scratch that, I can in fact watch those movies a TON of times but they say that variety is the spice of life or at least during your holiday moving watching, which allows us to expand into the latest sub-genre of Christmas-Horror, the ZOMBIE themed Christmas movie! Doing a little research, it turns out that there are actually a few of these out there, most all being extremely low budget and varying in degrees of quality by the sound of it but damn it, The Dude did the artwork for this one, so that’s what I’m going to start with! Luckily this just came out on DVD and VOD this past October, so I knew that I had to check it out. Will this latest low budget, independent genre offering be a Shitmas gift worth keeping or will it get relegated to the return heap? Let’s find out!
Sunday, December 23, 2012
The 1980's was a fantastic decade for cartoons, probably the last good one for the medium, Saturday morning and weekday afternoons. Almost everything that we were fans of had it's own animated counterpart, and along with the cartoon series, they also got a Christmas special, usually airing somewhere in prime time (this particular special aired on ABC, followed by a rerun of Joanie Loves Chache. l mean, ew).
On December 16, 1982, one of the hottest video game characters of the time received a holiday special: Christmas came to Pac-Land, and things may have never been the same for the little round bastards.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Let me preface this by saying that Die Hard 2 doesn’t even come close to being a shitty movie. In fact, it is an awesome follow up to the original and one of my favorites of the Christmas season. I mean who doesn’t love a little bloodshed during the holiday season? Here we go... Welcome back to the party pals!
Friday, December 21, 2012
"The Insects' Christmas" is a Russian stop-motion animated short from 1913. The film was made by entomologist/puppet maker/animator Ladislav Starevich who studied insects in such great detail that he dissected and pulled apart every appendage and reconstructed their fragile bodies into malleable stop-motion puppets. Starevich did this to photograph and study their movements. The story of this particular short is a fairly tale involving Father Christmas spreading holiday cheer to everyone, even the smallest of creatures. The "Insects' Christmas" is just under 7 minutes so please join me after the jump to watch the film and discuss this child's story turned nightmare in more detail:
The sci-fi adventure show Doctor Who has been a staple of British pop culture for years. It first aired in 1963 and its initial run went until 1989. I, unfortunately, have not had the time to revisit the original Doctor Who episodes (they are also pretty hard to find in full season form). I am a new age Doctor Who convert. In 2005 Russell T. Davies renewed the series with Christopher Eccleston (Shallow Grave, 28 Days Later) as the sharp tongued Time Lord and Billie Piper (then British pop sensation) as his loyal companion Rose Tyler. A friend suggested I check this odd little show out and even though I was skeptical I gave it a try – I was so hooked by the story and the relationship between the Doctor and Rose that I went through the entire first season in a matter of days. Now, here’s where things get difficult with this program. A main plot element of the Who universe is that no Doctor stays forever. Eleven actors have headlined the series as The Doctor. The transition from one actor to another is written into the plot of the show as regeneration, a life process of Time Lords through which the character of the Doctor takes on a new body and, to some extent, new personality, which occurs when sustaining injury which would be fatal to most other species. Although each portrayal is different they are all meant to be aspects of the same character.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
What happens when you combine the two Bob Clark Holiday Classics "Black Christmas" and "A Christmas Story" on a shoestring budget? It may look a lot like "Happy Helladays"!
"Happy Helladays" was a Warlock Home Video release made all the way back in the year 1987! 25 Years later the movie has found it's way to DVD thanks to Warlock's new head honcho Chris Seaver.
Before our movie starts we are treated to a comedy routine from video company's mascot "The Warlock". The Warlock spout off some horrible Holiday related puns that even the Crypt Keeper would find embarrassing!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Today I have a special treat for you guys, I am reviewing the new horror short "No Clowning Around" directed by Rob Dimension & Matthew Burd!
Rob whom I'm sure many of you know from his many successful endeavors around the Horror Community, for one he is the co-host of Monster-Mania Radio along with Dave Hagan (Founder of the "Monster-Mania Convention") and he also co-hosts the Extreme Odd Couple Podcast (XOC Podcast) with Wrestling Legend Steve "King of Old School" Corino!
Sometime during the Summer, Rob began working on a Horror Movie Short called "No Clowning Around". He told us it was going to be about a Beloved Clown and his Tragic Downfall, but also made it clear that it wasn't going to be a Killer Clown movie like "It" or "Killer Klowns From Outter Space". Speaking to Rob a couple times about this project over the past few months I could tell he put a lot of himself (both mentally and physically) into "No Clowning Around".
But the end result was totally worth it, he along with everyone involved have a lot to be proud of!
Now on with the review:
Philadelphia is a city with a rich history of famed "Local TV Personalities", long before there were 24 Hour Cartoon Networks and an endless amount of Video Games being played by today's youth, there were acts such as "Captain Noah and His Magical Ark", "Sally Starr" and "Chief Halftown" that ruled many children's afternoons.
While these shows may not be as known as say "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" or "The Howdy Doody Show" on a national level they are still fondly remembered here in Philly and have transcend generations!
But who were these people when the camera wasn't rolling? Just think about the Kevin Clash incident recently, I can honestly say I didn't know the name of the guy who stuck his hand up Elmo's ass every morning as the the puppeteer behind the ever popular Sesame Street character, but after it came out that he was have relationships with underage boys both he and Elmo are now tainted in a lot of people's minds. The media never billed it as "The Kevin Cash Sex Scandal" it became the "Elmo Sex Scandal" and because of that it really makes you wonder who exactly can you trust to bring into your children's lives even if it's a silly red puppet teaching them how to count to 12! Some people out there live for shit like that though, and nothing more fascinating then watching somebody on the top of the world fall from grace, it's what's keeps sites like "TMZ" and magazines like "People" in business!
"No Clowning Around!" is the story of one such Children's TV Host who's fallen on hard times, his name is "Mumbles the Clown" and this once beloved hero's latests antics would make even Krusty the Clown blush!
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the tower
Hans Gruber was stirring, he had all the power.
The explosives were placed on the roof with cares,
in hopes that bearer bonds soon would be theirs.
The hostages were nervous with thoughts of dread,
while visions of bullets went through their heads.
And Al Powell in his squad car, and I in bare feet,
had just wondered if ever our kids would ever meet.
When out on the roof there arose such chatter,
Karl sprang from the office to see what was the matter.
Away to the elevator I hid in the shaft,
He shot holes in the duct it caused quite a draft.
The shine on the walls by the great spotlight
gave the terrorist pause, as it was much too bright.
When, what do the cops now happily boast,
an armored RV, but the quarterback is now toast.
With a little C4, so explosive and insane,
Hans knew in a moment it must be McClane.
More rapid than bullets his cohorts they came,
and he screamed, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Karl! Now, Henrich! Now, Fritz and Marco!
On, Uli! On, Tony! On Theo and Franco!
To the top of the roof! To the top of the wall!
Now run away! Run away! Kill them all!"
As the FBI leaves in that wild helicopter fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the rooftop the hostages flew,
with a chopper full of guns, and the two Johnson’s too.
He was dressed in an undershirt, with nothing on his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A machine gun he had all flung on his back,
and he hooked up the fire hose, by opening the pack.
His eyes-how they frightened! The height how scary!
His fear was real, this Christmas was not merry!
He knew he had to leap, they’re shooting oh no
and he knew if he didn’t live, he wouldn’t see Ms. Gennaro.
He crashed through the window, and went straight to his wife,
And with Hans in the vault, he threatened her life.
All bloody and bruised, the terrorists were outclass
by our hero John McClane, he then shot Hans through glass!
He sprang to his wife, what a bloody embrace,
and time to hear let it snow and lay in front of the fireplace.
He had survived the night, those bad guys what suckers,
Merry Shitmas to all, "Yippee Ki Yay, Mother Fuckers!"
That bit of awesomeness was written by Chris Tanski of Under Scoop Fire Blog & Podcast!
Chris, thanks for bringing your writing talents to this years Shitmas!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Shitmas in New Hampshire . . .
How the Hotel New Hampshire Fills Me with the Holiday Spirit
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a …black dog with a chronic case of flatulence.
You wanted Shitmas. You got Shitmas. A whole goddamn month of it. While your family is out there murdering trees, wasting electricity and increasing their already substantial part of the debt pool, you’ve decided to come here and do a little reading of the tales of Christmases past, woeful holidays gone awry and the burdensome pantomime of better living through strange knock-offs of our classic traditions and rituals schlepped into one great big cinema dirge. I can safely think of no better film to accompany this celebration of off color cinema centered on the 25th of December than the Hotel New Hampshire even if the whole Christmas sequence is only a very small portion of the entire gang bang. Let’s give this the old advent wreath and run the gamut on the malls to discuss this John Irving classic cinematic adaptation (the second adaptation following the World According to Garp).
Monday, December 17, 2012
So, being a kid of the 70’s and 80’s, Tim Burton’s Batman is my generation’s Batman. Sure I had read Batman comics and watched the 1966 TV series on reruns, but it wasn’t until 1989 that Batman was brought to life for me. I even wore my yellow bat symbol t-shirt on my 1st day of high school in 1989. Nerd Alert! I was equally excited for Burton’s follow up film, Batman Returns, in 1992. I mean can you get a better dream team together then Tim Burton, Danny Elfman & Stan Winston? Exactly. Being a non-traditional Christmas movie, it is visually stunning and the score is so compelling. (I am listening to it as I write this) Each December, like most of us, I like to partake in watching lots of Christmas movies but also movies that take place over Christmas… Die Hard, Gremlins, Lethal Weapon & Ghostbusters II. Batman Returns falls into this category as well. My review is wordy & contains spoilers… if you haven’t seen this movie yet then what are you waiting for?
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Long before I seen "The Warriors", "Taxi Driver", or "New Jack City" . . . "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York" was the one movie that made me scared shitless about ever stepping foot in New York City let alone being lost in it . . .
Like many kids of the 90s, I was a huge fan of the first "Home Alone" movie and in my mind it's star Macaulay Culkin was the best actor in the world not named Arnold Schwarzenegger at the time! When the sequel to Home Alone came out in 1992 my Aunt and 3 cousins went on a day we had off from school and seen it the now long closed "Yeadon Theatre", and when this movie made it's way to VHS the following Summer (1993) there wasn't a week that went by without me watching it for a good while after that.
Some may argue that Home Alone 2 is pretty much just a remake of the first film . . .
Once again The McCallister family are going away for a Christmas Vaction . . .
Once again Kevin gets separated from his family right before the leave for said vacation . . .
Once again he encounters bumbling idiots Harry and Marv . . .
Once again he meets a person shunned by society and offers up his ten year old wise beyond his years wisdom too . . .
And once again his Uncle Frank is a Toolbag!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Over at London 1888 Chris Ott is Celebrating 20 Years of Tarantino with 20 Days of Tarantino.
Every day he's been putting up a new limited edition print featuring characters from movies Tarantino wrote or directed in his lustrous career!
Here are the first 10 prints, as well as one for a previous poster Chris did of "Jackie Brown".
And get this, for every poster below you purchase you get entered for a chance to win a signed by Tarantino copy poster of the "Jackie Brown" poster!
1. Aldo Raine (Inglourious Basterds)
WRESTLING IN A WINTER WONDERLAND
A Shitmas guest Post by Koyote at Tavern Of Terror
Well, it’s Christmas. No way to avoid it. We’re all going to have to endure a thousand renditions of Let It Snow for the next twenty or so days. But bad movies and good beer with friends can make the holiday season less excruciating - and having a pal who also runs another awesome blog helps too.
When Tom over at Shit Movie Fest asked me to do a guest spot for his Christmas special, I was honored and giddy to join the madness. He said I could review just about anything. But when I heard him say it was going to be called Shitmas then I knew there was one thing truly worthy of the term, a movie so unbelievably awful that it may as well have been named Shitmas itself. I knew that to back away from reviewing it would be cowardice. So I grit my teeth and barred what may be the shittiest Christmas film that ever got shat.
Friday, December 14, 2012
For those not familiar with "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", it's a show about 5 sociopathic scumbags who live in Philly and own a bar named Paddy's Pub . . .
Sunny is one of those shows that you never quite know what you going to get, there are episodes in it's now 8 year run that I'd say are some of the funniest half-hours I witnessed in television sitcom history ("Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person", "The Gang Gets Invincible" and of course the two parter "Mac and Charlie Die), but in it's later years the show has ran out of steam and at times dreadful to watch for those few bright spots each new season provides! In 2009 when news got out that there was going to be a Christmas Special titled "A Very Sunny Christmas" I was game, for one it was going to be direct to video (not aired on FX first) and also it would be unedited . . .
The end result turned out to be maybe the gang's finest hour (ok 44 minutes but you get the point)
Thursday, December 13, 2012
SPOON! Like most people I think I love the idea of the holiday season more than the reality of the season. I think we all have the best intentions wanting to celebrate the magic and joy of this time of year......the reality is most people act like jerks. Out of the nerve racking nonsense of holiday traffic and into our homes we escape to holiday cinema and Christmas specials of our favorite shows to put most of us back in the holiday mood. We have a whole genre ripe with different tales for different moods. As an adult I make it a point to watch Night of the Comet, Christmas Evil, Silent Night Deadly Night, and the first two Die Hard films......but the kid in me still craves the Rankin/Bass specials, Gremlins, and the animated classic The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Somewhere in there I guess that leaves the adolescent in me craving The Tick Loves Santa.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Tonight's poster round up is all about coolest Vampires Ever . . . The Lost Boys!
Below is Art, Posters, and even a pair of shoes featuring David and the gang . . .
1. Fright Rags "Team David" Shirt from Matt Ryan
– A Mind Fuck of a Fever Dream
Star Wars is one of those topics that set people off in many emotional directions. Like politics, or religion, I try to avoid pushing people’s buttons on the subject. I love Star Wars, but even if you enjoy the hell out of it, people will be there to slam you for some tiny mistake you make about the franchise. It’s a protected universe, and for better or for worse, the fan-base is rabid. So, I charge into this post with the knowledge that I might be hated by many.
George Lucas is a monster. Even if he gave us one of the most beloved franchises in the history of, well, everything, he is a man that has torn our hearts out again and again. The prequel set of films were everything that a Star Wars fan did not want. While I can tolerate Episode III, I and II are almost unwatchable at times. I could go on and on about what makes the prequels good and bad, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I want you to understand that Star Wars, as legendary as it is, has some rather atrocious moments. One of those moments comes in the form of the 1978 (took place after A New Hope) Holiday Special that only aired once on television at the end of November of that year. Even if Lucas barely had a hand in it, he should still be blamed for one of the darker moments in Star Wars history.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
In 1996 "Scream" took the Horror community by storm and for the first time since the mid 80s made Slashers profitable at the Box Office!
Every studio in town was trying to recreate their own "Scream" even going as far as copying the same marketing strategies that made Scream a hit in the first place . . .
Hot semi-famous thirtysomething year old actors and actresses that could pass for a teen and of course the same style of poster art featuring the cast just standing around!
Below is a gallery of Horror/Sci-fi Posters that suffer from the Scream Syndrome, a syndrome that made creative or hand drawn posters a dying art only until recently . . .
In today's "Poster Round Up" we will be featuring art and posters from the Joe Dante Holiday Classic "Gremlins" along with the fantastic followup "The New Batch". All artists responsible for each picture is listed right below, unless it's unknown, please let me know in the comments below if any are listed incorrectly.
So, I’ll start off this review by admitting that I may be a little biased. I think P2 is one of the best horror movies to come out in the last 5 years and I realize that may be a ballsy statement. But, lucky for me, fellow P2 lovers, and Shitmas 2012 this awesome movie takes place during Christmas making it a member of that all too rare Horror Christmas subgenre. It’s actually the only one I can honestly say I revisit every December and have been since it came out on DVD. For everyone else reading this that doesn’t think P2 and that lovable psycho Tom is as awesome as me – bare with me, bottle your hatin’ and try to see it through my eyes.
Monday, December 10, 2012
While writing my Shitmas post for "Home Alone 2" I instantly recalled the "The Yeadon" theatre where I first saw it at! The Yeadon Theatre was a theatre in Yeadon, Pa and was right outside of Philly in a section known as Delaware County or "DELCO" for short.
When I was a kid and my family was going to the movies this was our closest closest option, the River View in South Philly and the AMC in Springfield that I frequent from time to time didn't even exist yet!
On it's one screen I seen classics such as "The Land Before Time", The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking, "An American Tail", and the first two "Home Alone" movies there in my youth.
Ok, let’s go back in time for a bit. It’s 2004. Ben and I have been through so much at this point. He was coming off of such films as Paycheck, Sum of All Fears and Gigli. Its sad, but I felt us growing apart. The bromance was fading. The man crush was dying. Things were getting dark folks. We weren't doing our regular movie nights like before and when we did it had that “been there done that feel”. BUT WAIT!!! What does he go and do??!? Another Christmas flick. Not an action Christmas classic like Reindeer Games. No, he’s going big time. It’s FAMILY Christmas classic time. That my friends is how Surviving Christmas came to be.
Affleck plays Drew Latham, a successful marketing exec that has one problem for the holidays. No family or friends to spend it with. He has a plan though. Drew buys him and his girlfriend Missy (Jennifer Morrison) tickets to Fiji for the holidays. What does this bitch do? She complains that Christmas is “the family holiday” and wants to spend it with her family. (I’d go with you Ben. TAKE ME!!) Missy takes things a step further and calls him out for never introducing her to his family. You see where this is going. Queue the big break up and Drew is now really left alone for Christmas.
The next scene is one of my favorites. Desperate for company Drew gets on the horn and starts calling just about everyone he knows to try to find a place to crash for Christmas. It has been stated through interviews that Surviving Christmas was shot without a completed script and as a result, most of the film was improvised. You can tell they had fun with this one. The montage of phone calls is hilarious. They range from Drew insulting then accepting different religions, persuading people to ditch their families and even begging.
Drew then tracks down Missy’s shrink (Stephen Root) at an airport and begs for help. The doctor tells him to write all his childhood grievances down on paper, go to a place he remembers from his childhood and then burn the paper. Yeah, that will solve all his problems. This brings Drew to his childhood home which is now occupied by the Valco family. Thinking Drew is going to burn the house down, the father Tom Valco (James Gandolfini) whacks the shit out of him with a shovel.
Please!!! Any where but the face.
So, with Drew knocked cold the family brings him in. When he wakes up he explains his problem and proceeds to offer the family $250,000 to buy them for the holidays. (You can stay with me for free Ben…FOR FREE!!) Of course they agree and from here the family is put into so many ridiculous situations to help Drew relive most of his childhood memories - including some caroling around their Christmas tree.
What we learn is that Tom and Christine Valco (Catherine O’Hara) are contemplating divorce and are just doing this for the money. You see where this is going, right? Through the power of Affleck they find love again and then they teach Drew the true meaning of Christmas. Awwwwwww! Oh, Drew ends up getting with their daughter (Christina Applegate). Come on, you had to know Affleck was going to “sleigh” some pussy in this movie.
Come on Kelly Bundy, you know you want it.
Surviving Christmas was released in theaters on October 22, 2004 and did so “WELL” at the box office that it was out on DVD by December 21 of that same year. Yeah, you know what I got in my stocking that year? Yes, this film is widely panned, but with Affleck’s over the top demeanor and a supporting cast that plays it so deadpanned it really is hard for me to hate it.
Trust me, adding some Affleck into your holiday season will make any Yule log burn a bit brighter.
Jeff - http://letterboxd.com/jeffmhady/
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Friday night before my friends Jason, Jeff, Steve, Claire, Katherine, and I went to see a 35mm screening of "Black Christmas" at The Colonial Theatre we held a beer tasting party featuring 14 different winter or Christmas beers! Over the summer I did a Pumpkin Beer Tasting Night with Jay and Steve (aka Icon vs. Icon ) that you can read about right (HERE)
All of us brought something different to that table and we also drank some Natty Boh after every couple beers to cleanse our palettes Each beer below is rated on a "Candy Cane Scale" with five Candy Canes being the highest a beer can rate. I found it very interesting how our views vastly differed on some beers including a few where the group was split between loving it and hating it. OK let's start things off . . .
Two things have always melted my heart; movies that have anything to do with Christmas and… (sigh) Ben Affleck. In 2000 director John Frankenheimer answered all my prayers by casting the one and only Ben “You the Bomb in Phantoms, Yo” Affleck in his new action Christmas flick Reindeer Games. I think I truly heard Christmas angels sing when I read the news. At the time, Frankenheimer was coming off his huge comeback hit Ronin and Affleck was only three years removed from winning an Oscar and was one of Hollywood’s hottest commodities. What could possibly go wrong right?
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Jack Frost, the less creepy one that doesn't have Michael Keaton in it, is a film that holds a very special place in my heart, believe it or not. I remember always being in awe of the lenticular VHS box art whenever I'd head up to my local Blockbuster as a kid, and I'm pretty sure not a video store visit went by where I didn't pick the box up, and move it around to watch ole Jack's transformation from harmless looking snowman to icicle toothed monster. Ah, the joys of the video store. But my fondness for the film isn't only about the awesome box art. Oh no. Watching this film is actually the earliest memory I have of being aware that a movie was really bad, but loving it anyway, which I guess makes Jack Frost the very first 'best worst movie' that I ever experienced, at least as far as I can remember. Who knows, it may even be the movie that ushered me into a life long love of terrible movies. Yea, let's go with that.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Yeah, yeah- many people are gonna see this post and be all like “Hardware isn't a Christmas movie! This dude is a couple cans short of a six pack!” Well, you may be right with the six pack thing. But, put yourself in a dystopian setting --where much of the world has been gangbanged into a radioactive wasteland-- and tell me just how fucking holly jolly it would be around the holidays. My guess is that it would be pretty damn close to the atmosphere that this film gives. Christmas would be a mere hint of what it once was (kinda going that direction already), offensively celebrated by those who have been viciously stricken by the state of the world. As far as I'm concerned, Hardware is as Christmas as Christmas could get in such a bleak vision of the 21st century.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Being an 80s kid & hailing from Philadelphia "Rocky Balboa" wasn't just another movie character, he was an ICON and at times was talked about as if he was a real person!
Rocky & Rocky II told the story of the ultimate underdog who defied the odds, went the distance with boxing's reigning heavyweight champion Apollo Creed and won the championship in their rematch. And most importantly for Rocky he found the love of his life in the homely Adrian, with whom he marries and together have a son named Robert aka Rocky Jr.!
He defined what this city was all about . . . he was Raw, Gritty, and most of all full of Heart. But somewhere in the early 80s he lost all of that and got soft, but thankfully also learned how to read in between sequels!
With the help of his former rival "The Master of Disaster" Apollo Creed, Rocky once again found "The Eye Of The Tiger" by rising up to the challenge of his rival Clubber Lang and was the last known Survivor!
Now let's skip ahead a couple years. Rocky is still on top of the Boxing World. He's still married to Adrian, and together with Robert, and Uncle Paulie (Adrian's deadbeat brother) lives in a nice mansion outside of Philly . . .
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Overlook Hotel (as seen in "The Shinning")
All the pictures in this post come from London-based artist Marc Hagan-Guirey's "Horrorgami" Series! Marc takes a single single sheet of of paper and works it into a house that was seen in Classic Horror Movies and Television Shows.
It's pretty much the most amazing idea I've seen in some time!