Sunday, December 2, 2012

Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (Shitmas Day #2)

The Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust – Spicy, With Just a Hint of Shit

The Gingerdead Man was the best movie I had ever seen about a cookie wreaking havoc on dumb characters. I would have to rate the second best as my own film about Halloween and Winter Oreos creating a large ulcer in my stomach. But the Gingerdead Man is back, for better or worse, with another tale of holiday horror that really seems to have nothing to do with the first film entirely.

Unfortunately, Gary Busey does not reprise his role as the Gingerdead Man. I was at first shocked when I saw that he had even agreed to do the first film, until I thought for a couple of seconds. Then, it all made sense to me – any movie where the audience doesn’t need to see Busey’s face (at least, that much) is a better movie because of it. Some other poor sap (John Vulich) with little money and large debts has to voice the cookie to fill the void.


Really, this film is both entirely different and altogether the same as the first. The premise is cookie-cutter (yes, I will be using terrible puns to add a little spice to this review. Merry Shitmas), and the film really has to stretch the dough to get The Gingerdead Man 2 to make any sort of sense, and to incorporate the Gingerdead Man at all. We start out on the set of a really, really poorly conceived horror film about maniacal puppets (AKA: any Full Moon production ever), produced by Cheatum Studios in a not-so-subtle use of irony that will simply keep popping up, over and over and then over again, in the dialogue.



Anyway, on the set of the film, we’re treated to a bunch of nonsensical puppets who come to life during a ritual murder. We’ve got a doll with shit on its head; we’ve got a dodo-dildo puppet; there are more, but they’re not that important, and I just wanted to give you a glimpse of what kind of humor you would be getting when watching The Gingerdead Man 2. It’s the kind of humor that Beavis and Butthead might find slightly funny, but for most viewers, the in-your-face, yeah-we’re-edgy jokes will quickly remind you of times in high school when everyone used to think you were funny by changing other people’s names into swear words. In other words, they don’t take much thought, and they’re really not as clever as the film tends to think they are.


There’s a lot of this stuff in The Gingerdead Man 2, and it’s one of the reasons the film moves as slow as molasses dripping out of a freezer. Sure, there are times when the stupidity of the script might garner some laughs – Joseph Porter as a disabled Rainbow’s End kid is believable as a terminally ill guy simply because most actors in this sort of role might actually wish they were dying rather than have to live through the shame. There’s also Michelle Bauer as Polly Bonderhoof, whose boobs have morphed into the same sort of plastic puppets that pepper the set of Cheatum Studios – seriously, those things are massive and grotesque at the same time, and they look like they might come alive to fend off the Gingerdead Man.


Otherwise, though, The Gingerdead Man 2 is just boring. Watching the Gingerdead Man kill off all of these dumb people isn’t even fun – there’s some gore, but it’s not that good, and even the “tense” parts are stretched to the point where it stops being fun and becomes a tedious chore. I almost fell asleep in parts; I also found it more fun to IMDb the actors who decided that this film might be a good career move.

If I were to choose, though – and I mean, if someone came up to me with a gingerbread man pressed to my skull and demanded I pick which movie I liked more – I would say that The Gingerdead Man 2 is better than the first. The production values are better, the gore is better, and there’s even a better focus. This film is about mocking itself, and also bluntly picking on the Full Moon franchise itself. It makes fun of B-movie clichés, even while it plants itself firmly in one. Its tongue-in-cheek humor makes it a little more bearable to watch.


Still, if I wanted to watch a parody of a bad horror movie, I wouldn’t head straight for this turd. A bad movie is a bad movie, whether it makes fun of itself or not. If it’s interesting, that’s a different story, but The Gingerdead Man 2 has had its hand in the cookie jar too much – it’s bloated, irrational, and almost never intentionally funny. But it’s perfect for our shitty Shitmas!

Today's review came to us from Ryne Barber . . .

Ryne writes and runs his own horror blog, The Moon Is A Dead World, which features mostly reviews and giveaways. He also writes for HorrorNews.net. When he's not writing about terrible movies he's listening to terrible music for his noise blog Memory Wave Transmission.

4 comments:

  1. That first photo is fucking disturbing. Does the Gingerdead Man (I feel so silly typing that) look like that the entire movie?

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  2. Not sure, but I think we should watch these some sunday afternoon like we did with the Feast trilogy!

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  3. Well, as a piece of gigantic gingerbread, he does. But no, he's not always depicted with a crown of thorns.

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