All I Want For Christmas Is Some Fat Bitches, And A Bag Of Weed: Friday After Next!
Oh Christmas movies, how it makes no sense that I like you. I made a list last year called "Guts and Grog's Top 50 X-mas Films." While I was making it, I realized how is that I like Christmas. I am about as far away from what you would call a religious man as you can get. I hate consumerism. I seek out the most offensive and gut wrenching films, yet I love Christmas. Christmas movies are no exception. Sure there has been plenty of shit made in the name of this bogus holiday, but there is a grip of awesome. A lot are horror, which is not surprising that I love, but a lot are just hilarious, and a few may even touch me where my heart is suppose to be. Well, when I was asked to contribute to "Shitmas" for the second year I decided to go against my norm. I pretty much exclusively write about horror films and am about as white as you can get, so I figured "Friday after Next" was the most reasonable film to take on.
I have prided myself over the years at my lack of racism, sexism, or pretty much any ism. I have had friends of all sexes, races, religions, and sexual orientations. I have tried never to give into the norm. I however am white, and very white at that. I live in Portland fucking Oregon, which is considered one of the whitest places on earth, which is funny as it is also one of the most open minded places on earth, that is for another time though. The reason for my rambling on this is, I should not love the "Friday" movies as much as I do. On paper it makes no sense. The thing is. I do. From the time the first one came out I was hooked. I seriously watched that movie so many times that one night I was told that while passed out drunk in my room my friends put in my copy of "Friday" and they heard me quote the whole movie in my drunken sleep. This is all back story leading up to the second sequel of the Ice Cube vehicle, but I feel it necessary to explain (and by necessary I mean I got a good portion of this whiskey in my blood).
Well, jump ahead to "Friday after Next." I am still white when it came out. At this point I had visited Cabrini Green while I was in Chicago, so I felt super urban. Granted I was scared shitless, but that had more to do with the fact that I had seen "Candyman" so many times. I saw the trailer for it. I liked "Next Friday " but not nearly as much as the original. I had my reservations about a third, but I had to see it. I saw it was not only a "Friday" movie, but a Christmas movie. My interest was peaked......
"Friday after Next" starts off with Day-Day and Craig asleep. It is obviously Christmas time as the house is decorated with a tree and Day-Day is dreaming of asking Santa for fat bitches. A man dressed like Santa enters through the window. At this point I feel like it may be the urban "Silent Night, Deadly Night" remake. Santa makes himself a big ass sandwich and gets all the presents. At this point Craig wakes up and catches Santa. He is pissed and starts protecting his stuff. There is a fight and a tree is used as a weapon. Now I know I am not explaining this well, just know. It is awesome.
After the amazing intro we get anamazing animated opening credit sequence. It is like the ghetto Griswold's. From here we meet up with all the characters we have grown to love in the first two.
Most of the family has opened a BBQ restaurant. Craig and Day-Day have gotten jobs as security guards at the complex this it's in. This is the central location for most of the film and where most of the hi-jinx happen. That is until they have a Christmas party at their crib( see, I am not all white) to help come up with rent.
The movie is pretty simple at its core. All of the fun comes from the characters. You have pimps, thugs, horny landlords, super ripped and freshly out of jail Terry Crewes looking for love after watching 2Pac videos, Bobby Brown in a Santa suit, Craig's dad looking for a place to shit, Pinky and that is not including the main characters that are funny as shit.
In closing, I have no idea why I like "Friday after Next" so much. As stated, on paper it doesn't make sense. However, when you brake it down. It is about a group of people dealing with life issues, being hilarious, hanging out with friends and family, and drinking and dancing. This is life, and there is few better ways to spend Christmas.
Well, thanks for reading my gibberish. It has been fun, but I am full of grog, so .....I am gonna go pass the fuuuuuuuccccckkkkkk out.
Big props to Eric Martin for this Grog Fueled Shitmas Review, Eric runs a blog I quite enjoy named "Guts and Grog"!
Getting to know him is one of the best things to come out of starting the SMF Page!