Friday, December 9, 2011

The Ref (25 Days of Shitmas Day #9)

I can't say I'm the biggest fan of Christmas, but I'm not the opponent of it I used to be.. I have found my little dysfunctional niche in it, and I have come to enjoy some things about it. Our Christmas Tree this year has a severed head, wrapped in a plastic bag with lights all around it as a topper. Our ornaments include brains, skulls, pirates and a few we made ourselves. Candy Corn lights and black skeleton tinsel.
Yeah, we don't exactly have the most family friendly decorating style. So, to say Christmas is a time for family, could be the grossest overstatement in history, expecially in this house. Luckily for us, Denis Leary helps to prove that family could ruin what was a perfectly good night of trouble and mischief.
In "The Ref" he proves that on top of his amazing ability to downgrade religion, promote smoking, and sing about Assholes, he could also do family comedy.

Gus (Leary) is a cat burglar (who's covered in cat piss, coincidentally) who needs a place to hide out, after his drunken getaway driver heads for the hills. Gus happens upon the most dysfunctional couple in history: Lloyd and Caroline Chasseur (That's Chess-urr; it's 18th-Century French Huguenot.) Having just left their marriage counselors office, screaming divorce, Lloyd (Kevin Spacey) and Caroline (Judy Davis) become Gus' unsuspecting hostages, on Christmas Eve.

Almost immediately, Gus realizes he's in way over his head. Within a few short hours the Chasseurs entire family is over for dinner and Gus, not wanting to leave Lloyd and Caroline alone as they may call the cops, is now forced to play the role of Marriage Counselor to the rest of the family.
From hats made of candles, to stories of women being set on fire, and a side order of juvenile blackmail, The Ref could quite possibly be one of the best over-looked holiday comedies ever (right next to Mixed Nuts with Steve Martin.)

This is a movie for all those who think Christmas isn't the worst time of year (we save that honor for Valentines Day) but, if you had it your way, it would be a whole lot cooler, and a shit-ton more fun. But nooooo, we're stuck sitting at a dinner table, with relatives who hate each other, telling the same old stories you heard when you were 5. It wasn't funny then either, Uncle Milton..
For anyone who eats the slop that they cook, and swallows it down with a grin and a gag. For anyone who continues to get socks every goddamned year from grandma, and would prefer to hang themselves than suffer ONE MORE GODDAMN CAR RIDE, when you could be home watching Black Christmas wishing you were Billy.
This is the one that shows you, someone feels your pain and they fucking hated being called "Husky" when they were young too.
The Ref is not just a good flick, its therapeutic.

"Lady, your husband ain't dead. He's hiding!"
- Gus

-Manny Serrano

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