Saturday, September 3, 2011

Neon Maniacs (SMF Review)

Neon Maniacs (1986)

Directed by Joseph Mangine

Unlike "Ghost Town" which I recently reviewed here on the SMF Facebook Page, "Neon Maniacs" is a movie I never heard of, but based off the Title alone I felt the need to pick it up at the Monster Mania Horror Con last weekend. Neon's Director Joe Mangine may not be a household name, but he was the Cinematographer on numerous cult classics such as "Exterminator 2", "Alone In The Dark", "Alligator", "Mother's Day", and "Cinderella" (The XXX Snapper Version made in the 70s)

The film is set in San Francisco, and starts off with a man fishing off a pier near the Golden Gate Bridge. After not catching anything, he's shown walking down a path that's along side the bottom of the bridge. It's there where he notices the skull of a cow's head acting as doorstop for a giant iron door. He picks up the cow skull and finds a group of "Garbage Pail Kidlike" Trading cards of Monsters inside the head, while looking through them someone from behind him with a AX strikes and we are treated to the first of the many on screen kills Neon Maniacs has to offer.

After a title sequence that sounded a lot like the Jazzy SoftCore Porn Music you would hear on Skinemax back in the day, we are introduced to a RapeVan filled of teens looking to score some beer and find a spot to party into the night . . .
and wouldn't you know it that they end up at a park that's walking distance from where that nameless Fishermen died.
In under ten minutes most of the nameless teens are brutalized by what can best be described as "The Mutant Village People"! There is a Samurai Warrior Mutant, Biker Mutant, Doctor Mutant, Native American Mutant, Army Mutant, Archer Mutant, and one that looks like something out of a Jodorowsky flick. 

The deaths here are are beyond fantastic! A girl getting her head sliced off while giving her boyfriend a blowjob, a fight between one of the tougher teens and the Biker Mutant actually shows the teens limbs being ripped off! and also a pretty girl getting struck by an arrow from the Archer Mutant. 

The one person to make it out of this alive is the virginal Natalie who was hiding in the Van the whole time. When the cops arrive at the park there is no evidence of any murders taking place and they have a hard time believing the story. Also to make matters worse all her school mates believe it's all just a elaborate prank being played by the group of friends. Only Steve(a guy who always had a crush on Natalie) and Paula (A Strange, but Cute Outcast who loves making Horror Movies with her video camera) believe the of murders are true.
With no help from the authorities, the 3 new friends are left on their own to try stop the Mutants from killing again and staying alive in the process!

I got to say I really enjoyed this film, being a fan of Horror Movies my whole life I was surprised I never heard of Neon Maniacs until last week and even more so I shocked by the low rating it got on IMDB . . . 
Users on there gave it a 3.7!
I feel like this film had a lot of creative deaths, gore gags, and also some funny dialogue in it. Together there are 12 Maniacs/Mutants, and all of them have a unique look(amazing makeup used imo) and a weapon to use for the killing.

Granted there was some lame stuff in it like a Halloween Dance that featured a "Battle of the Bands" between a SImple Minds clone and a Mötley Crüe knockoff . . . But it was made in 1986 and every 80s movie and a live band performing at a school function. The only thing that really bothered me was how easy the Maniacs were defeated once the good guys found out what their weakness was . . .

I won't spoil what that "something" is in this writeup, but it's really silly and kinda makes the later half of the movie a bust after the very fun beginning. 

-Tom Bryce

1 comment:

  1. Only SPOOKIES can compete in the absurd monsters catagory