Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Zack Wallenfang's "Wax Packs" Art Series!


Growing up in the late 80s/early 90s Trading Cards were all the rage with my friends and I. We collected everything from Sports Cards, ComicBook, and even Star Trek: The Original Series Cards!
 But without a doubt my favorite ones that I collected were the ones based off of a movie property, especially the horror related cards like the beloved Fright Flicks series that was released by TOPPS!

Over the last couple years artist Zack Wallenfang (Instagram / ETSY) has been creating a bevy of awesome art for popular and cults movies that deserved to be immortalized in cardboard! I posted my favorites of the series on this page, but please check out Zack's Official Website (http://www.zackwallenfang.com) to keep up to date on this project as well as of of Zack's art!

As you can see below Zack captures the look and feel of those 80s Cards perfectly, the art is so good he will have you convinced that these shared shelf space Batman, JAWS and The Ghostbusters!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Horror Newspaper Print Ads of Yesteryear!

Back in the day there was nothing quite like opening up a newspaper and seeing what New Horror Flicks were debuting in Theaters on that particular weekend!

My buddy Nick Lombardo uploaded all of these awesome Horror Movie Print Ads from his collection earlier today on his Facebook Page! I asked for his permission to share them on here with everyone!

Sunday, January 1, 2017

SMF's Weekly ShartOuts (01/01/17)

(Banner Art via Icon Vs Icon's Jason Price)

Let's get a fresh batch of SMF ShartOuts going to kick off 2017! It's been awhile since I did one of these features here at the page, but basically it's just a post spotlighting some cool stories, movie screenings, and art from around the interwebs that I strongly endorse! So please check out all the links that were shared and please feel free to email me at (shitmoviefest@comcast.net) if there's ever something you feel that should be featured in a future edition of the SMF's ShartOuts!

001: Up first is from two artist who's vibrant work always puts a smile on my face! Check out Jellykoe and their Super Cute take on the beloved Universal Monsters! 

The couple took this on as a commissions for a friend’s who plans to use it to decorate their newborn daughter’s bedroom! Very Cool Parents and Idea! For more of J. & Kelly's work check out their Online Store HERE!

002: On Friday January 6th . . . The Ball is Back at The Colonial Theatre!
For the 1st “First Friday Fright Night” Screening of 2017, The Colonial with be running a 35mm Print of “Phantasm II”!
I’m gonna try my best to make this screening, I been on a major Phantasm franchise kick as of late, buying both the Remastered Blu-ray of the Original as well and the recently released Ravager!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Announcement of this Year's Shitmas Contest Winners! (The Box of Shitmas, Scream Poster, and the Christmas Evil/Jack Frost Blu-rays!)

Here is the announcements of this year's Winners from the 3 Contests that were held during this year's Shitmas!

First up is "The Box of Shitmas" Giveaway which was put together by IconVsIcon.com's head honcho Jason Price, my buddy Garrett Sawaia, and myself!

The Winner of this Giveaway is Scarletjupiter from the comments section! Here's everything that's coming your way Scarlet . . .

3 Gift Cards totaling $75

4 Random Funko Mystery Minis

Not 1, Not 2, But 3 Copies of "Illegal Aliens" on  DVD

This Christmas Ornament that's supposed to be Rick Grimes 

Some Random Shit!!

Even More Random Shit!

There might be some more odds and ends that end up this before I mail it off to you, depends how much room is left in the box!

Up next is the Vinegar Syndrome's Releases of Jack Frost & Christmas Evil Blu-ray/DVD Giveaway and that was won by Twitter User @ASliceofIce

And Finally the Winner of the “Scream Poster” from Hoss Creative goes to Twitter Handle @HawkPapa84

Thanks again everyoneand with that Shitmas 2016 is Over! Catch you guys in 2017
- Tom

Monday, December 26, 2016

The Shitmas Hangover (Year 6’s Shitmas Wrap-up on The Acid Pop Cult Podcast!)

   Welcome to the 6th Annual "Shitmas Hangover" everyone! This year's Event included a great mix of both Shitmas Veterans as well a some newcomers! I hope to have you all back for Year 7!

As I done in previous years, I teamed up with my friends over at the Acid Pop Cult Podcast for an in-depth wrap-up about this Year's Shitmas Event! (LINK)

I talk about my thoughts on each of the 25 posts, give shoutouts to everyone's sites and share some other Holiday Happenings from this past month!

Stay tuned for tomorrow when I announce the 3 Contest Winners from this year's Big Giveaways and then I'm going going on a break for the rest of the week!

Merry Shitmas to All and Thanks Again everyone's continuous support of SMF!

- Tom

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Cobra (A 25 Days of Shitmas Post from Icon vs. Icon's Steve Johnson)

Steve Johnson - Icon vs. Icon

Well here we all are, gathered under the Shitmas tree to talk about some of our favorite holiday films. In the past I have spun yarns about John McClane and his exploits at Nakatomi and Dulles Tower. I even went as far as telling tales of Martin Riggs, Roger Murtaugh, and Matt Hunter. That being said, I know you are clamoring with excitement for one more story of 1980’s style justice. Well boy do I have one for you... Grab your spirit of choice, get comfortable, and have a listen to my tale of Marion “Cobra” Cobretti.

Our story begins with a shot of our titular hero’s silhouette riding a motorcycle against a deep red background. Beautiful. Just fucking beautiful. Of course that shit gets interrupted pretty quickly by the assholes of the film. A big ole’ group of jackasses clanging axes together in a circle. There’s an obvious joke here, but I am going to let that go for now. Look at me taking the high road. Don’t get used to that shit. These guys are being led by none other than the night slasher, played by 80’s badass Brian Thompson. The dude is a damn specimen. More on him later… 

It doesn’t take long for Cobra to get mixed up in some hijinks. A shotgun toting tool enters a grocery store during the Christmas season and starts shooting up the place. Told you it was a Christmas movie. Moving on... This guy does more damage to the goddamn produce than he does to any of his hostages. Well except for the guy in the hat who didn’t run fast enough. Sorry bro... After wasting the guy, mr. shotgun cocks his weapon about a hundred fucking times for no reason. While this asshat is busy dicking around with his weapon, Cobra makes his way into the store and then proceeds to spend a few minutes screwing with this guy. He even takes time to take a sip of that sweet Coors beer. Simply badass... Eventually Cobra gets tired of this dirtbag and offs him by first throwing a knife into his chest and then shooting him a dozen times. Considered that disease cured.

After a hard afternoon of saving the day, Cobretti retires to his humble abode to get some much needed rest. How does a badass rest? He eats pizza by cutting it in half with scissors, while cleaning his gun and watching the news. We are then abruptly shown just how nasty the night slasher and his crew can be. This guy and his jolly bunch of assholes straight up just attack people in their cars and cut them up. Shortly thereafter a debate breaks out amongst the detectives on the case on whether or not Cobretti should be involved. Now is the time I get to talk a bit about Andrew Robinson and his portrayal of Detective Monte. This dude is one of the bitchiest cops in cinematic history. All he does is complain about Cobra and his methods. Stop being a pussy Monte, Cobra doesn’t like your bullshit rules.

Back to the night slasher. He’s out doing his thing and this time he gets spotted by Ingrid Knudsen portrayed by none other that Brigitte Nielsen. Jesus was she hot in this film… I mean the things I would… Sorry about that, back to the story. Cobra finally gets the go ahead to shakedown as many people as he needs to in order to take the night slasher down. Here’s where we get our montage of the film and boy is it a good one. You get shots of Cobra walking the streets, the night slasher being a psychotic stud, Ingrid modeling, closeups of eyes, and a great 80’s jam. Fan-fucking-tastic!

Now is the point in the story where shit really hits the fan. It turns out the old night slasher has some friends on the police force and he has obtained Ingrid’s location. After fighting off the advances of her photographer, Ingrid is quickly fighting for her life. While she barely escapes, the same can’t be said for the cop on duty in the building. That dude gets absolutely destroyed by the slasher’s van. Damn I love Cannon films! Ingrid finds her way to the hospital and Cobretti is there with questions. When Cobra realizes he has his witness, an artist is brought in to draw a composite sketch. This sketch is by far one of the worse drawings of a human being’s face I have ever seen. How the hell this guy still has a job, I don’t know… Moving on… 

It is determined that once Ingrid gets out of the hospital, she will be moved into a safe house until this maniac is caught. Turns out the night slasher has plans of his own. By dying his hair and making himself look a little less like a raving psycho, he infiltrates the hospital’s protection of Ingrid. Of course he has to slash an employee before getting to her. He just needed those glasses to complete his ensemble. These idiots simultaneously go after Cobra in his own damn apartment. Big mistake… Cobra takes those guys out with the quickness and returns to the hospital just in time to save Ingrid from certain death. Unfortunately the night slasher slips out just as easily as he slipped in.

The plan for the safe house is still on, but Cobra first takes a good tongue lashing from the higher ups concerning his bad attitude and lack of cooperation. Turns out they wanted that terrible composite drawing of the killer. Christ, I’m not sure what use to them it would be, but more power to them. Good luck with tracking a guy down when the drawing looks like a 3rd grader drew a picture of lurch. After his superiors are done giving him shit, Cobra quickly tries to get Ingrid the hell outta town. Right on cue, the slasher shows up and starts wreaking havoc throughout the streets. We’re talking epic car chase territory. Cars get blown up and make incredible jumps. This shit is epic. Unfortunately our handsome hero does lose his badass car in the fray. It’s a damn shame too. That car was badass.

We quickly get whisked away back to police headquarters were Cobretti continues to get shit from the higher ups. Hey guys, this psycho gets shit done while you all sit on your asses bitching. Cut the bullshit and let the man do his job. Cobra blows this shit off and heads out into the country to hide Ingrid away from the slasher and his group of axe clanging dickheads. Of course they are right behind them thanks to their inside source, who is the officer assigned to help protect their witness. Traitorous bitch! Anyway, Cobra eventually sniffs out this rat and prepares for war. By preparing for war, I mean he constructs his own uzi complete with a red dot laser sight and lays out his collection of hand grenades. You have to love an affinity toward the use of hand grenades. He eventually puts his macho shit aside for a few minutes to make out with Ingrid. Way to go Cobretti. Getting shit done on the streets and the bed. You have to admire his work ethic.

All seems fine the following morning, but that quickly comes to a screeching halt. A gang of god knows how many bad guys invades this sleepy little town to off Ingrid and Cobra once and for all. No dice guys… They apparently didn’t do their homework on their opponent. All of these assholes meet the business end of Cobra’s uzi and hand grenades. Cobra kills everything that fucking moves and there is a lot moving. I can’t help but wonder what the total body count was. It’s got to be in Commando territory. All of this commotion leads up to the final battle between the night slasher and Cobra in the factory from Robocop. Seriously, this has to be the factory from Robocop. Turns out the night slasher isn’t so tough. After what seems like forever struggling over a knife, Cobra impales the bastard on a giant hook and sends him to a death by fire. What a great way to send that piece of shit off. Well done Cobra… Well done… So what does a hero do after he kills the bad guy? He punches Detective Monte in the face and rolls off on a bike with the girl. I think I’m in love…

You cannot go wrong by adding this to your yearly Christmas viewing list. Cobra is pure unadulterated fun. It’s got action, hot women, uzis, and hand grenades. What more could you want? I must depart now so I can finish assembling a few weapons while eating pizza with scissors. I hope you’ve enjoyed my little contribution to this year's festivities. I wish you and yours a Merry Shitmas and a Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 24, 2016

The Berenstain Bears' Christmas Tree (A 25 Days of Shitmas SMF Review!)

Today I was in the mood to do another Shitmas Post before this Year's Event Wraps Up tomorrow, I ended up settling on "The Berenstain Bears' Christmas Tree", a TV Special that originally aired in 1979! With a runtime of just under 25 minutes, the special in it's enteirely can be found on youtube in this video below incase you have never seen it or what a refresher . . .

Our Special begins on Christmas Eve with Papa Bear strutting down the Festive Streets of Bear Country with a an enormous salmon he just caught for his familes' Holiday Feast! 

When arriving home to his Tree House he sees that the rest of the Family of Bears (Mama Bear, Brother Bear, and Sister Bear) are waist deep in all kinds of Christmas Ornaments and Trinkets. The Bears unpack their beautiful tree topper (a 18 Point Star) but have yet to get their Christmas Tree to put everything on yet.

Papa Bear recruits the two Bear Cubs to help him go find the perfect tree for the family, while Mama Bear puts the remaining decorations. Passing by the nearby Tree Lot ran by a Bear named Gus, the 3 Bears head far away from their home to find their perfect tree!

Hey Griswold, where you gonna put a tree that big?

But each tree that Papa Bears deems worthy of their home is actually already the home of some other tree creature! From Skunks to Eagles (and even some Wolves), the Papa comes very close to issuing an eviction notice with the chop of his ax! 

With it getting very late into night and a snow storm taking the fun out of things for the two smaller bears, Papa decides that at this point any old tree with do so he settles on the next tree that he sees!

Before cutting it down thou the Elder Bear realizes that inside lives a Tiny Snow Bird and his Family. The birds are busy dressing a measly twig branch is their family and it's there that Papa Bear sees that all along he had it wrong and spares this family the blunt of his ax!

The Bears figured they will pick up a tree from Gus' Lot on their way back but are sad to see that the lot is all sold out! 

Returning home empty handed the Bears spirits are so lifted when they see their Home . . .

You see all the other Forest Creature who's houses that they spared earlier that evening have returned the favor by decorating the outside of Tree House in Spectacular Fashion! 

The Family of Bear now with their new found friends celebrate the true meaning of the Season by getting together with Loved Ones and realizing that all Creatures from the Biggest of the Big to the Smallest of the Small all deserve to have a Merry Christmas! Well Save for this Guy that is . . .

This really was a great Holiday Special that I'd totally recommend watching with the Family, as sated above this one is currently streaming on youtube, but you can also find it on a DVD that also includes 4 other Winter Tales!

 Merry Shitmas
- Tom